unlikely to happen
by Switchbladeliss
Summary: this story is for gambit is mine dammit's challange


Gambit is mine dammit's challenge-

I propose a challenge to all you fanfic writers out there…  
The challenge is to write a fic with the following criteria:  
-At least 2 x-men get drunk  
-someone touches rogue  
-someone complains about someone's odor  
-someone dies  
-someone uses a narcotic drug (I.E. crack, heroin, marijuana…)  
-solve world hunger somehow (no mary-sue's)  
-and it must be damn funny.

It was a particularly normal day at the X-mansion – all was well during the quiet and quite peaceful morning and nothing too exciting or interesting happened as the afternoon rolled around, and it didn't seem like anything was going to happen until…

Scott, while walking the grounds trying to look important (I said trying, not exactly succeeding) and looking for something to ruin the rest of the x-men's day because they wouldn't include him in their game of volleyball (lets face it, nobody wants a pansy on their team), came across one of those zip-lock bags filled to bursting point with what looked to be some sort of spice.

*Probably oregano* Scott thought, not even expecting what it really was *now I can do some cooking* and with that thought he ran off to the kitchen to cook with his newly acquired…spices.

Elsewhere…

"MY POT!!!!!! WHERE THE HELL IS MY POT!!!!!!!!"

In some dark corner somewhere…

Rogue rocks herself quietly back and forth trying to fight all the strange urges she had been having lately. After recently being bitten by a vampire (yes I know she can't be a vampire cuz she's invulnerable, but this is my story), Vamperella to be exact, she had been staying away from anyplace bright if she could help it, and she was having the oddest cravings for raw meat and blood and she had been very horny as well…well that wasn't to unusual, not being able to touch anyone probably made you quite horny after awhile, but the fact that a vampire is a very sexual creature wasn't helping none.

Meanwhile, in some bar someplace…

"I luv yeeeww man…hic…" the drunk Bobby Drake said through very slurred speech as he took another swig of the beer he held, he swayed slightly trying to keep his balance with little success.

"I…hic…luv yew bud-dy…burp…" Remy said in equally slurred speech, also trying to keep his balance, but he swayed to far to his right and fell all the while Bobby was laughing manically.

Later in the evening at the mansion…

*X-men, I am calling an emergency meeting in the meeting room place, come at once* the professor announced telepathically then began giggling like a little girl cuz he had said the word 'come'.

All the x-men quickly assembled in the 'meeting room' (I don't know what to call it), including Scott with his 'spices'. The professor turned off the lights at Rogue's request, but after everyone tripping and trying to grope one another in the dark he turned the lights back on and Rogue retreated to a dark corner.

"Now where is Bobby, Hank and Remy?" professor X asked and as if on que Remy and Bobby stumbled in singing merry Christmas even though it was February.

"Before you start professor," Scott said holding up the bag of you know what "I'd just like to say that I found this bag of oregano outside"

"Why do you smell so bad?" Jubilee asked Scott loudly.

"MY POT!!!!!" the professor cried, he snatched it from Scott and lit a joint and began smoking it and soon Jubilee joined in and then the rest of the X-men.

Jubilee, stoned out of her mind, then walked up to Rogue and said "You know I always thought you were so hot…lets get it one!"

*Shrew mah powers* thought Rogue as her and Jubilee got it on and to her surprise nothing happened, but then she got the strongest urge for blood and bit down on Jubilee's neck, sucking the blood from her and killing her instantly.

Just then Hank rushed in and yelled in excitement "Guess what everybody…I've just found a way to end world hunger…" but he stopped once he noticed that everyone either stoned or drunk and stoned. "F*** it" he said and walked off to someone who might actually give a crap.

Later that night both Rogue and Jubilee became quite hungry and made all the X-men one of them.

The End


End file.
